What is Emotional Intelligence?

When someone is emotionally intelligent, they aren’t just emotionally strong and 
resilient, though that can be a big part of it. There are many things involved in emotional 
intelligence, including being connected with your own thoughts and feelings, accepting 
and regulating your emotions, and understanding more about your own emotional state. 

Here is a look at what emotionally intelligent people do. 


They Think About Their Feelings, Instead of Immediately Reacting

Someone who is emotionally intelligent is really good at thinking first about their feelings 
and analyzing them, instead of just immediately reacting. It is tempting and often much 
easier to just react first without putting too much thought into it. 

It can feel like if you just do something immediately, it softens the blow of how the event 
affected you on an emotional level. But this only prolongs your suffering and makes it a 
lot harder to deal with. While it can be more challenging to really soak in those feelings, 
it is healthier for you in the long run.


They Accept and Understand Their Own Feelings

In addition to being able to take a pause and sit with their emotions, someone who is 
more emotionally intelligent and mature can also understand their feelings a little more. 
Even getting to a place of acceptance over how they feel. 

You might think you understand why you feel the way you do, but unless you are giving 
yourself time and space to really acknowledge them and sit with them, you might be 
surprised by what your own internal dialogue can reveal.


They Don’t Judge Others for Their Feelings or Emotions

Another sign of having more emotional maturity is being able to understand and accept 
how other people feel, without judging them or reacting in a negative way. Emotionally 
intelligent people have a better understanding of their own emotions, which makes it 
easier to empathize with how other people might be feeling. It doesn’t mean you have to 
just agree with others 100 percent of the time, but trying to see things from their 
perspective does make a huge difference in how you react to others. 


They Have Good Empathy and Deep Understanding

Being empathetic is a wonderful quality that makes you a more sensitive person when 
dealing with others, but it doesn’t always come naturally. However, it does tend to be 
more common among people with higher emotional intelligence.

Empathy does not mean you feel sorry for someone, but that you can just understand 
them a little more, possibly even relate to them on some level. You can see someone 
suffering emotionally, and understand why, instead of criticizing them for it.


They Don’t Surround Themselves With Toxic People

Toxic people can be strangers, co-workers, your best friend, even your parent. They 
don’t usually set out to be toxic influences in your life, but can bring down your energy 
and act as energy vampires. When you are emotionally intelligent, you are able to spot 
them and typically spend less time with them so all the drama and pessimism doesn’t 
rub off on you.

It’s not always possible to avoid every toxic person in your life, but with more emotional 
maturity, you can spot the people draining your mental energy and set some personal 
boundaries with them.


They Have Amazing Self-Awareness

Lastly, emotionally intelligent and mature people are also very self-aware. They know 
who they are, what they want, their strengths and weaknesses, what triggers their 
emotions, and why they feel how they feel at any given time. The more self-aware you 
are, the less stress you experience and the more resilience and emotional strength you 
will have.

